Talking about pornography
If a child of any age has access to the internet on a device, then they may be viewing pornography – and by the time children are in their teenage years, many will have viewed violent, misogynistic and degrading images and some will be choosing to view regularly.
As a parent or a carer, you may feel ill-equipped to know how to protect your child from such horrors or equip them to keep themselves safe. And while we can’t prevent the possibility that children and teens will see pornography, we can influence how they think and act by tackling the topic head on at home.
Get good advice
For an episode of the Parenting for Faith podcast, Anna spoke to Ian Henderson, CEO of the Naked Truth Project. Ian started this Christian charity to educate others of the harmful effects of porn, as well as offering recovery programmes. Ian shared ideas for talking with kids about pornography and what we can do if and when we discover our child or teen has accessed porn.
Listen here:
Here are sources of information and advice parents might find helpful:
- The Naked Truth Project includes support for parents, including a resource page, information about parent workshops and a parent pack.
- Creepy Naked Stuff – a video created by a Christian mum to help her talk about pornography with her preteens.
- Christian sex educator Patricia Weerakoon has written widely on children, young people and growing up. Specific resources for children include Learning about Pornography, which has associated resources for parents and carers, and she has also written Teen Sex by the Book which includes a chapter on pornography.
- Advice, information and research from the UK’s Children’s Commissioner on growing up with pornography
- A lot of organisations provide advice for parents and carers on how to talk to children and young people about pornography and about sensible steps parents can take to protect their children: for example, Children 1st, Internet Matters and the NSPCC.
Give it a wider context
Any conversation we have with our children about pornography will be linked to the wider issue of what we believe about relationships. In a world saturated with shallow images and stories of love and romance, it’s important that we help our children and young people build a healthy view of romance and love that reflects God’s heart for us. This is a topic Rachel Turner explored in ‘Boyfriends and girlfriends‘, one of our monthly Bedtime drinks with Rachel Facebook lives, where she looked at what that might be like with all age groups from preschool to teens. Find more ideas for shaping our kids’ view of romance and relationships.
Start the conversation
Not just with your child, but with your church and other parents. We often feel uncertain or embarrassed about talking about topics such as sex and pornography, but it is important that it becomes as normal a topic of conversation as potty training or concerns about video gaming. Only then can we hear and learn from each other.
Additional resources: