The bedtime routine: what is important?
Bedtime routines: everyone does them differently, but what are some key elements that help our children to connect with God at bedtime?
Whether you have a routine or it is different every night, there is no one right way to do bedtime. But if we are looking at creating a space at bedtime to parent for faith, you may want to consider these three elements of what helps children settle into sleep connected to God.
You can watch the video below, or scroll down to find a transcript of what Rachel says.
Bedtime routines: it’s one of the banes of parents’ existence. What is the ideal spiritual bedtime routine? The answer is there isn’t one – it’s whatever you think is best. But there are three key aspects of bedtime routines that really help in developing a God-connected child.
Connection to you
The first one is connection to you. I know it seems counterintuitive but actually a latest study came out that said children who feel connected to their parents have a higher rate of faith sustainability over the long term. Their connection to you is a vital part of your influence spiritually in their life and your ability to coach them in their spiritual life, and so building in that time to connect with you to talk about their day, to laugh, to ask questions, to wonder together, to let those deep things bubble out of their heart is a significant part of bedtime. It’s a time where they reflect on their day and them being able to reflect on their day with you is significant. Whether it’s 2 minutes or 5 minutes or half an hour, whatever you can spare, whatever you can set aside consistently so that your child knows that no matter what happens today they’re going to get your face at night, is really really significant.
Connection to God
The second thing is connection to God. Connecting to God is a part of life and bedtime is a wonderful wonderful way and a wonderful wonderful space for our kids to connect with God. But how that looks is completely up to you. You can read the Bible together, you can read the Bible to them, you can have them read the Bible to you. You can worship – I remember in bed my mum and I used to sing two worship songs just acapella, just singing along. Some people listen to worship songs. When you pray together … whether you pray together, whether you facilitate them to try and chat and catch and meet with God on their own, connecting with God is an important part of that.
Next steps with God
And the last thing is giving them the next steps. Now often what we do is we just button our bedtime routine: right, I love you, mwah, see you later and we’re out the door. But the next step of bedtime for me is leaving them in the room with God and so whether you say something as significant as have a good time with God, you chat and catch and have dreams with God – I’ll see you in the morning, or whether you say how can I help you and God continue to connect – do you want to listen to some worship music, do you want to read your Bible for 15 minutes, do you want to just lay there and chat and catch – I’ll come in in 15 minutes and give you a kiss after you’re done praying and connecting with God – to give them a next step so that they know that while you’re leaving, their connection with God can and will continue, giving them that opportunity to take their connection with God to the next step while they’re in bed. It sets them up for a lifetime of getting in bed, settling in and falling asleep with God.
So that’s it. It doesn’t look like the ideal; it will shift and change with your family dynamics and family’s needs and your children’s interests. Feel free to be flexible with it but think about how they can build in that connection to you, their connection to God and their next steps with God as you leave.
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